This Competitive Rock Paper Scissors League Is a Frenzy of Fists
Last year, a simple game turned into a fierce competition in Milwaukee’s first Rock Paper Scissors League. Competitors met every other week from January to May to duke it out – and this month, the league is back.
Participants follow rules regulating throwing gestures and deploy strategic “gambits,” or combinations of three throws.
For example: “If your gambit is three papers, it’s called ‘the bureaucrat’ – said to be the ultimate strategy in passive-aggressive play,” says league creator Evan Maruszewski. “If your final paper is displayed palm up, you’re serving ‘the subpoena.’ It’s essentially a way of telling your opponent, ‘You idiot.’”
And officially, the chant goes “rock, paper, scissors, shoot” to keep both players in sync. “In high-level competition, those milliseconds can be the difference between winning and losing,” he says.
Maruszewski, who also organizes Milwaukee Polka Riot, launched the league after falling down a YouTube rabbit hole, watching videos on competitive vaping, cup stacking and a national-level rock-paper-scissors game.
“When humans can excel at a thing, no matter how small, it seems we like to figure out who’s the best at that thing,” he says. “We like to compete, and then we like to reward ourselves for being really good at it.”
After finding no existing RPS league in Milwaukee, he took the leap to start his own. During last year’s inaugural season, competitors fought at now-closed Company Brewing in a bracket-style tournament.
Players like “Kid Cutty,” “Vlad the Im-paper” and “The Underpaper” vied for last year’s top prize, but “Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson” took home the trophy.
Think you could win? Sign up and play Jan. 14 at Eagle Park Brewing, 823 E. Hamilton St.
